Struggles

How awful am I? A handle of posts then months off! It's been hard work lately, I'm not turning this post into a whinge, because everyone has hardships of their own, but it's happening in my life and I want to talk about it.

My daughter has just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It's not really surprising, I've had it since I was 18. We were almost expecting it. It's the timing that couldn't be worse. Half way through her final two years at high school and taking modular GCSE exams, meaning she has to sit exams twice a year! She has her future course all mapped out, with college and uni in front of her.

Now she finds herself permanently exhausted, in constant pain and not surprisingly, unable to concentrate. I have to find a way to teach her deal with each problem, and find a way to keep going. 

She originally wanted to study science and although has done extremely well so far in that area, is finding the pressure to perform too great. She has now opted to follow her artistic side and hopefully one day you'll recognise her work.

Water Fluoridation

Tonight's distraction began as a little research into the Pineal Gland, or third eye. I'll have to come back to that one as another post though, as the the Fluoridation of drinking water has taken over. I knew the connection before, as I had started searching for information on decalcifying, but I believe the topic deserves it's own post.

 I'm not a huge fan of conspiracy theories. I find them a bit like God. I won't believe something just because someone tells me I should. Maybe I'll delve into 9/11 and FEMA camps another time. It's not that I don't believe some or all of what is said, it may well all be true, but unless I have convincing evidence that I understand for myself, I simply will not jump on the band wagon. The trouble with technology today is that it is possible to make some pretty convincing videos, pop them up on YouTube and it suddenly becomes gospel. But I'm wandering from my path, conspiracy theories in depth will have to wait, but as we look at the topic of water fluoridation you'll understand why I've wandered that way!

Firstly, the source of the fluoride that is purposefully added to our drinking water is a toxic waste product of phosphate fertilizer!  Sounds tempting already, but there's more. What better way to dispose of toxic waste than by turning it into a saleable product. It was at one time a prime ingredient of bug and rat poison.  I'm not doubting it's cavity protecting abilities but are the benefits really out weighing the risks?  My water comes from a private, natural source.  Not only is it some of the nicest water I've ever tasted but it has no added elements, other than what nature has seen fit, on it's journey down the hillside.  We've lived here for five years and my children's teeth have not rotted and all fallen out in this time.

Then there is the link with Eugenics. It is said that Hitler first added fluoride to water in the ghettos in the 1930s, not to protect children's teeth, but to force sterilisation, ill health and a docile state of submission.  I don't know if this is true, but I do struggle to doubt it.  Even today we are practically force fed things like Aspartame. There are many reports about the dangers of this artificial sweetener, yet it appears in more and more products and is getting harder to avoid.  And don't even get me started on the HPV vaccine!

But anyway, fluoride causes calcification of the pineal gland, and even if you don't believe in the third eye (more on that another time) it plays havoc with melatonin production, damaging our immune systems, messing with our sleep cycles and inducing sexual maturity in our daughters.  But don't take my word for it, find out for yourself.

Wikipedia, glossing over things nicely, but with source honesty

An interesting blog post, that I haven't even completed yet

Please delve further if you want to, but you'll just find more of the same!

Hmmmmm......

Blogger appears to be ignoring my paragraphs, so please bear with this post, it is not intentional that it is one long rant! In my search for blogs of interest I have come across some blogs that have prompted a few thoughts. So, without trying to offend anyone I'm going to express a few opinions. It will hopefully give a better incite into who I am also. Firstly, I will read about any subject if the article is written with intelligence and a degree of lightheartedness. For example, I'm not the type that sits at home making things, but have found some beautiful blogs either based on or including crafting articles. The first blog I followed is written by a very talented lady who makes beautiful things. Following the links of the blogs that interest her I have even been tempted to make my own Granny Square Blanket and I have never knitted in my life! On the other hand I found an Astronomy blog, and got quite excited, only to find posts with just links to other sites. No personal thoughts or input. I want to get excited about the things that excite you, I want to feel your passion for your chosen topic. Astronomy interests me enough to find out what's going on for myself. Religion. You are all entitled to your own beliefs and me to mine. I'm an Atheist but if you believe in a God that's fine. Personally I think there is more to it than that, and believe that religion was designed as a way of controlling people and to explain what science had yet to answer. People who are heavily into religion frustrate me, simply because to me it defies logic. Have your beliefs and treasure them, they are part of what makes you, you, but please don't try to convince me to join you. And don't tell me I'm going to Hell, I've heard it all before. Self Harm. Disturbingly, I found blogs about self harm and suicide. Personally I think they should be banned. Maybe it makes some people feel better about how shit their own life is but we all have a problems to deal with and blogging about self harm is irresponsible and attention seeking. I have no time whatsoever for this type of blog. Sometimes I get frustrated when someone's interests seem to go off on a tangent that doesn't fit with my own ideas. I have to remind myself that this doesn't mean they aren't interesting or intelligent people, and that they won't have written something that grabs my attention. So come on folks, tell me about something I don't know, pull me in and show me something new!

My little corner

This is my little corner of serenity. It's right next to my bed. Above you can see the Buddha face my daughter brought me from Thailand. Then there are my little antique shelves which hold my incense burners, a couple of small books, and a paper mâché box from Kashmir. In front of them there is a silk hanging used as a cloth, it has an Om on it. There stands my singing bowl, which my daughter again brought from Thailand, although it had been imported from Tibet. And a Buddha tea light holder.

To the left is my new book collection, which I am very pleased with, my damn alarm clock which I wish I could do without! And my mirror, housed in beautiful, reclaimed wood, with doors on the front and the face of Buddha painted on it. This also came from Thailand but was not brought by my daughter! This is all topped off with a set of rose fairy lights just to add some ambience!

Ahhh, lovely.

Dalai Lama

I am thoroughly enjoying the Dalai Lama's autobiography. It is a truly fascinating story of how a very normal (and naughty!) young boy came to be a respected and loved idol around the world. It gives a honest incite into the lives of Tibetans, whether they be monks, the people who work for them, or the ordinary people of Tibet.

The Dalai Lama is a genuine, honest man who gives frank opinions of his own people and those from other nations. The book covers his early life, before and after his discovery as the reincarnated Dalai Lama and also the period where he was officially given control of the government and at 15 had to deal with the invasion from China.

I'm not even half way through the book yet, but have been captivated by the humour, modesty and honesty of this truly inspiring man.

Winter Sun

So, eldest has just come back from Thailand and today Bog Monster (BM) flew out to Gran Canaria with his girls. I'm not complaining, they desperately need a break and I'm sure I'll cope without him for two weeks, in fact I'm positive, it's just that it makes my feet so itchy!

I haven't been away for a couple of years now and there is so much I want to do. This year will be limited to a brief visit to Hungary to visit friends. Exciting enough, I believe it has some amazing architecture. But it's not winter sun is it? I hope to do some camping this year, I bought a massive tent and want to get some real use out of it! I wonder how me, BM and four girls would get on in a tent? And how far is the drive to Hungary?

Books versus Kindle

I got Amazon vouchers from my brother and sister for Christmas. I was going to buy a new Kindle as my old one no longer charges. Instead I ended up buying books! I used to love my Kindle, but to be honest, you actually can't beat holding a real book in your hands.

I bought the Dalai Lama's autobiography and The Art of Happiness, one by Bill Hicks, and a whole heap of travel books. Nepal, Tibet, Cambodia and India. Can't wait to dive into them. I also bought The Mastery of Love (which I have already read) and The Fifth Agreement to complete my collection of Toltec Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz. Hurry up Postie!

All Change!

Start as you mean to go on. One of my main goals for this year is to sort the house out! I need to have a major de-clutter. My house has a nasty habit of being a complete mess, so I figure the less stuff I have in it, the less mess it can get into. I'm starting with the lounge, complete re-arrangement. Trouble is, right now it looks like a bomb has gone off!

Oh, and Happy 81st Birthday to my Daddy! Family meal later at my sister's. Best get my arse in gear!

Jealous? Who me?

So my fifteen year old daughter has just returned from 3 weeks in Thailand. Looking through her photos of the day she spent riding and bathing elephants, I'm not sure if it's pride or jealousy that wells up inside me.

She's amazing, truly individual, talented and conscientious. I wish I had the depth of character when I was her age. The photos show her in the traditional Thai trainer 'pyjamas', her hair is quite short and shaved and dyed blue on one side. She has a stretched piercing in that ear, small and attractive. She looks quite a bit older than her 15 years and most people who meet her think she is.

She's already doing the things that I didn't have the guts for back then. I do see a lot of myself in her but she is definitely much stronger and determined than me.

We had piercings together today. She had her Septum pierced, and I had my Helix redone after having to take it out when she was born. Hopefully one day we will travel together too. In the meantime I will do my utmost to squash the tiny pangs of jealousy with overwhelming pride.

This is Me

So, here I am. In the last year of my thirties, single, and actually feeling pretty damn good about it. After two failed marriages, I have come to realise that it's ok to be who I really am, and not to try to fit into someone else's ideal. About this time last year I met someone who has changed my life completely. He has taught me to open my eyes, to accept myself for who I am and push for something better. My growing interest in Tibet and Buddhism is pushing me forward and I fully intend, when my kids have flown the nest, to sell up and head East. I plan to explore some of the most enticing places on the planet, and give up most of the trappings of our modern age.This blog is intended to record my progress as I head towards my greatest goal yet!