Confusion

So I went to see mum last night. It was traumatic! She doesn't know where she is, she thinks the hospital is a B&B and insists there are all sorts of people there. She told me they had had a complete refurbishment that day. Nothing she said made any sense, it's the worst I've seen her. 

She doesn't remember she has had the op and has to have a nurse with her at all times. The staff have been fantastic but it must be a huge drain on resources. Dementia patients apparently suffer less with the pain, and she certainly has no problem thinking she can just get up and wander around! She is meant to use a frame but doesn't understand why.

She is having trouble processing what she sees. At first I thought they were simple hallucinations, but it's more like her brain just can't process what she's seeing and just makes something up, rather than inventing something completely. We had pigs, penguins, birds, frogs, and cats that eat other cats, all while she's trying to make sense of her surroundings.

She told me the thermometer was to warm your ear up so things worked better, and that there had been a baby in the bed opposite her. It's all very distressing. Mum was due a full psychiatric assessment at home on Monday. She won't be home by then so the matron has said that they will do it at the hospital.

Because she doesn't remember the fact she's had the op her recovery is going to be complicated. She won't be allowed home until she understands what she must and mustn't do. And when she does come home it will be very challenging. Mums nature is stubborn and independent, because she doesn't think there is anything wrong with her she does not accept help easily. It's going to be a long battle.

Recovery

Mum has come through her hip op well. Apparently people with dementia don't seem to suffer as much pain, so her meds are being kept low to avoid her getting more confused. She is confused though, not about the op but just generally. She told my sister that the hospital had given her yesterday's baked potato with runner beans on top, for breakfast. She wasn't even there for breakfast! She also believes that the oxygen mask up her nose is to stop bugs from going up there! And it was made from the bridge of her glasses!

I never know quite how to react to these statements. Am I supposed to tell her it's rubbish or go along with it? She's convinced that it's true and I don't want to create an arguement but I worry she'll say something one day that causes trouble.

They are keeping a vey close eye on her and appear to be experienced with after care of dementia patients. I'm going to visit after work tonight and see how she's doing. I wonder what she'll tell me?!

Long Day Ahead

Mum has gone into hospital this morning. Confused is an understatement. Her packing was far from adequate. With lots of things she didn't need and lots if things she didn't have! Got to the hospital and she forgot she was actually having the op, thought she was just having a check up! Nasty shock! Her op is at two. Nurses have been primed that she gets forgetful and confused, but I worry how she will cope when she comes round. It's going to be a long day.

Living without Mum

So life has a habit of mixing things up. It wasn't meant to be what this blog was about, but it looks like things have changed. Life gets complicated, then it's hard to fit in blogging. But it's just dawned on me that keeping a track now maybe a good thing to do. 

My mum has been diagnosed with suspected Vascular Dementia. A dying off  of parts of the brain due to minature strokes. Her memory is shocking, although she recount stories from 60 years ago, she rarely knows what day it is. She sees cats that aren't there, since her own passed away. And has ridiculous fantasies about things that have happened. Or not.

Tomorrow she is due to have her hip replaced. It's terrifying! How on earth are we all going to cope? I worry that she will be very frightened and not understand.

The strong, independent woman that I knew as my mum, is fast slipping away. What was meant to be my blog about finding myself is, at least for now, about losing my mum. Maybe she'll help me on my own journey.