Struggles

How awful am I? A handle of posts then months off! It's been hard work lately, I'm not turning this post into a whinge, because everyone has hardships of their own, but it's happening in my life and I want to talk about it.

My daughter has just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It's not really surprising, I've had it since I was 18. We were almost expecting it. It's the timing that couldn't be worse. Half way through her final two years at high school and taking modular GCSE exams, meaning she has to sit exams twice a year! She has her future course all mapped out, with college and uni in front of her.

Now she finds herself permanently exhausted, in constant pain and not surprisingly, unable to concentrate. I have to find a way to teach her deal with each problem, and find a way to keep going. 

She originally wanted to study science and although has done extremely well so far in that area, is finding the pressure to perform too great. She has now opted to follow her artistic side and hopefully one day you'll recognise her work.

Jealous? Who me?

So my fifteen year old daughter has just returned from 3 weeks in Thailand. Looking through her photos of the day she spent riding and bathing elephants, I'm not sure if it's pride or jealousy that wells up inside me.

She's amazing, truly individual, talented and conscientious. I wish I had the depth of character when I was her age. The photos show her in the traditional Thai trainer 'pyjamas', her hair is quite short and shaved and dyed blue on one side. She has a stretched piercing in that ear, small and attractive. She looks quite a bit older than her 15 years and most people who meet her think she is.

She's already doing the things that I didn't have the guts for back then. I do see a lot of myself in her but she is definitely much stronger and determined than me.

We had piercings together today. She had her Septum pierced, and I had my Helix redone after having to take it out when she was born. Hopefully one day we will travel together too. In the meantime I will do my utmost to squash the tiny pangs of jealousy with overwhelming pride.